dating in united.

so what did you have for dinner last night?

me?

well, thanks for asking...I had one avocado and half a tomato. It was delicious! But that's not the point.

As I was standing in line to buy my one avocado and one tomato at the super-fabulous not at all sketchy United (same United that uber hot guy from gym goes to!!!) after work, I couldn't help but notice (i.e. snoop) into the cart of the guy ahead of me.

Cart contents: bologna, bread, foil and cheese.

Hey hot stuff, wanna make me a bologna sandwich and have a date? I will even give you a slice of my avocado!! We can make little plates out of tin foil so we don't have to wash dishes!!

Ever noticed how much you can tell about a person by the contents of their shopping cart?

I get a little tinge of anxiety when I see the late 20's girl pushing a cart full to the brim with canned goods and family size packs of ground meat. (New criteria to add to Mr Perfect List: must grocery shop)

Also really love the college guys with ground meat, spaghetti sauce and brownie mix. Big date tonight?

And to the old man with the bologna? quit trying to make small talk you creeper!!

I'll stick with my one avocado and one tomato. thankyouverymuch



Dating Lesson: before going on date with guy, follow him to grocery store. make sure cart contains more than just bologna but not enough for a family of 4