Please Hold

Funny story...

Remember Text Message Man?

Originally, my blog was going to have an underlying theme about something very philosophical and deep, but then I scrapped that idea and changed it to "firemen are hot" (two references: here and here).

But then...oh, but then... I got dumped in a text message.

and now, the theme of my blog is.....you guessed it........text message guy!!!

Now, sweetheart, I know you read this (or at least a little birdy told me you did once) but please don't take it personal...you set yourself up for it!!!

anyway... I digress...

Today is a good day. I'm working, clicking my way through the day, and the phone rings.

It is for my boss and I ask the caller's name before I transfer him over, like I have done a million times before.

Would you guess who it is?

None other than the father of señor text message! I. Die.

Normally when someone calls for my boss, I say thank you Mr. InsertLastNameHere , please hold, and then I transfer them to my boss (I would make a real good secretary!).

Not today. Today, I pause, contemplate the funny story that I could go into...and start laughing like crazy in my little head.

I decide against it and say, "Please hold." Meanwhile I look ALL over for the button on my phone that will transfer Mr. Text Msg Sr. to my boss.

And I cannot find the dang button!!

I am laughing so hard at the imaginary conversation going on in my head that I somewhat chuckle out loud.

Ah, there it is! Same place it that button has been for the last year and a half.

That my friends, is a day maker.

From Mother to Daughter

My mom isn't the most technology savvy person on this planet.

She frequently tells her smart phone to "quit being such a jerk" and doesn't have internet at the house (gasp? yeah, I'm with you) so she never reads my blog.

However, when we are together, she asks me what I have been blogging about lately.

This weekend after I gave her a run down of the dating life of her youngest, she really perked up and said, "Oh! I need to tell you about my first date."

I think it is important for all of you in the interwebs to know this story. Once you know how my mom's dating life started, I think it will become much more clear that this saga of mine is inherited.

I can't help it. Nature vs. Nurture, people...and this is Nature

Flashback to 1973, my mom, is a sophomore in high school.

Its a small town, so being asked out on her first date by someone that she had seen at family reunions didn't really seem like a big deal.

What was a big deal, was that it was the cutest boy in the 11th grade. Count her in!

My grandparents were going to be out of town but my grandma easily approved my mom's date...since it was with her cousin's son after all, and off my mom went.

During the movies, my uncle called the theatre and told my mom and her cutesy date that they had to leave because there was a big hail storm coming and she would have to spend the night with Rick. The creek was up, too high to cross.

Yes, you read that right...my mom had to spend the night with her first date...who was her cousin.

There are a lot of things I inherited from my mom that I love. But the fact that we both had a crush (albeit short for me) on our second cousins...now that's an inherited trait I could do without!

Dear future daughters,

I will let you date whomever you choose. As long as their last name isn't Boecker, Staudt or Brandenberger.

Hugs, your future mother

Lady's Night!

In a single girl’s life, sometimes it’s the smallest thing that bring the best smile.

For instance.

Tuesday is Lady’s Night at the oil change place. By “night” I mean they close at 6:00 so I had to start my evening early and stop by over my lunch hour.

I am not sure if the “welcome to quick lube” guys were laying it on thick because it was Lady’s Night or because they think I like the “I work hard for my money” (sing it!) type, but regardless, I was ready to vomit.

And hello, Mike, I can see your wedding ring.

Anyway, after I sitting through a very long oil change, complete with repeated flirtations by the married Mike, I was ready to get my 10% discount and get out of there.

After I saved my $4.10 the one well mannered, nice looking guy of the bunch said, “Don’t forget your flower!” and I saw this 5 gallon bucked with a couple dozen roses haphazardly thrown in.

I melt.

Me: Really! I get a rose!

Him: Yes, its Lady’s Night!

Me: Do you want to go on a date tonight? Ok, I will pick you up at seven.

Me (in reality): Oh my goodness, this totally made my day! I am taking it to work!!!!!

And here it has sat, ever since.

Attn FTD: I have a copyright on the classy water bottle-vase. If you steal it, my attorney will call.

Growing Up

Growing up is hard.

Yeah, I know this blog is about dating, but dating is part of growing up. And growing up is part of dating too.

There are old jobs, new jobs, bills, insurance, etc etc etc and friends.

I think sometimes the friends part of growing up can be the hardest, and it is something I have been struggling with a lot lately.

Don't get me wrong, carmenjennameredithhannahkelly you are still the cherry on my ice cream (If I liked cherries, which I don't). But there are some others that are giving me headaches.

And then I saw this

And I said EXACTLY!! This is exactly how I feel!!!

Then I read an excerpt from Mindy Kaling's book and it made me laugh!

I guess girl friends can be a lot like boyfriends. Some hang around in your life for a long, long time like that never ending can of Comet (cause you know I LOVE cleaning.ha.yeah right) and name their babies after you and some, well...people write books/blogs/movie scripts about.

On cleaning. And life.

Once upon a time, circa 2008, a boyfriend bought me (two) extra large canisters of Comet, because that is what his mother used to scrub his bathtub as a child.

Just today, I emptied the first one.

It's amazing how long some things hang around.

Lori Likes It

Well Lori finally got around to using the gift card she won in my giveaway...

Ha kidding! I was a little lazy on the postman side of things...

Anyway. Here she is enjoying her winnings...




Ha kidding again... But at least you can see what a 38 week pregnant mom to be likes to eat!

Lori is the perfect example of my blog...kissing...leads to...babies!!!!

Tonight before you go to sleep say a little prayer for Lori, Matt and their little babe...that he or she makes it here safe and sound!

oh, and Lori. If you win something on that Monopoly game, you had better give me half!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

With Purpose

I take my "job" of blogging very seriously. You read what might be a funny story but in reality, there were many hours of blood, sweat and tears that went into the real life story behind what you read (dating can be TOUGH!).

But every now and again, a reader from the interwebs emails me about how I have changed their life and it makes the getting dumped via text message worth it.

ok.......that was all a total lie. here's how it went down in real life.

Background:

I ran my half marathon. After marathon, I wanted a beer. Beer was stuck in a truck behind a very high and mighty New Mexico law enforcer. After said beer was found, and after a big vehicle swap-a-thon, I wasn't losing sight of the beer again!

A loyal reader and I were moving the coolers, getting little and big kids situated and I said, "wow this is like herding cats!"

and she said, "Yes, and this is exactly what kissing leads to"

My Life = Complete.

Thank you Kim!